DEATH AS BIRTHING: THE RELEASE OF A SOUL
Janet I. Calle
My cousin, George Edward Nicholson, better known as Ted died in a hospital bed in Washington, D.C. on November 12,1980 at 2:30 p.m. To those of us who witnessed his passing from this life, his death was like a birthing and release of his essence. It is significant that the man who midwifed my selfhood would have me there to midwife and experience the rebirth of his soul. How Judy, his wife, Kenneth, his son, Peter, his friend and I had the courage to defy tradition and assist in the transition is a tribute to the essence and energy of a very great man.
I met Ted when I was 15 years old. He was my father’s nephew, Peruvian by birth, educated in England. After World War II, his father needed him in Peru. It was on his journey home that he stopped in the United States and stayed with my family for two weeks. I was at an impressionable age. His brilliance, charm and wit fascinated me. But more than that was his appreciation of my mind. He had a way of drawing forth absolute genius in my thought process. I believe it was the way in which he listened that allowed me to stretch my mind beyond limit. Until the day that he died he was my mentor and very trusted friend. From the time I was 15 until his death, he encouraged me to do and say the things that were in tune with my vibrations and my being.
Two years before he died we talked about “The Family”—the Peruvian Calle-Morales clan and what made it so special. He wanted to write a book about “The Family” as a way of understanding himself and his link to the soul of Peru. He did not write the book. But hopefully the energy he left to us will some day become the words he wanted to share with others. Ted’s illness was cancer. He knew he had a year or so to live after the medical diagnosis. He chose the medical path to treatment. His scientific mind could only accept the traditional. He worked and traveled until two weeks before the end of his life.gton, D.C. over the Veteran’s day weekend. None of us knew when we set the date what a dramatic few days we would spend together.
When I arrived on Sunday, November 9th, I realized his time was due. Judy asked me if I would talk to him about death. She and Kenneth left the apartment so we could have time together. His breathing was being helped with oxygen. We sat together in the living room. Not knowing how to start I finally asked him: “Are you afraid to die?”
He said: “I am afraid of the fear of death.”
I began to talk to him then about the positive influence he had on my life, the lives of others and indeed on the world through his work in Truman’s Point Four Program, FAO, United Nations and the World Bank.
His breathing became more troubled. I asked him if he knew how to meditate. He really did not want to answer me. Suddenly, I had an inspiration. I suggested we use one of his paintings as a way of tapping into his meditative consciousness. I almost begged him to tell me which painting to get for us to work on. He finally told me. I got it and we both began looking at it.
Again his breathing became troubled and his body bent over unable to see the painting. Since he could not describe the painting, I did. “It is a wonderful silhouette of the back of five Indian women in saris. The colors are shades of purple on a white canvas. The women blend into an oval arrangement. The colors represent Spain. The wonderful magenta that Picasso used only occasionally in his work. There is an embryonic feeling about the painting.”
He said: “Creative energy.”
Suddenly his breathing eased. We sat quietly for a time. When Judy and Kenneth returned he was calm and said he felt better.
Kenneth and I began experimenting with massage as a way to ease his pain. We read to him and played the music that he loved so much. On Tuesday afternoon, he left for the hospital. Tuesday morning his spirits had been high. But when I wheeled him out of the apartment, I saw his lean body slump down knowing it would never return.
He had a single room at George Washington Hospital. There was a cot there for Judy as she had requested. Kenneth had been told by a healer in England to concentrate on the colors aqua and lilac. We found a painting of Ted’s with those colors. We brought it and a plant to the hospital. We made the room ours. We also brought cassette tapes and a player. Kathy, Judy and Ted’s daughter, arrived from England about midnight. Ted was fully conscious then, noticed her new boots and was delighted that she had come.
He had a difficult night—struggling to breathe, trying to get out of bed, terribly uncomfortable. When I arrived on Wednesday morning, I noticed how he was desperately trying to assume the fetus position.
Judy had arranged for a priest to come. She, Kenneth and Kathy talked to the priest for a time outside of the room. Then they came into the room. The priest gave Ted the last rites and incorporated thoughts of life and after life that touched on all of our beliefs—Buddhist, Christian, Judaic.
I am not sure when Ted closed his eyes. I know that about 1:30 p.m., after his friend, Peter, arrived it seemed that a tear flowed.
Around 1:45 p.m., Kenneth asked me if I would like to chant the “OM” with him. Judy, Kenneth, Peter and I stood around the bed. Each one of us were touching and attending to Ted. Kenneth and I chanted until he drew his last breath.
It was during the chanting that I felt like a midwife; encouraging the soul to leave the body. Ted’s face and body became absolutely tranquil as he slowly allowed the birthing to take place. When the soul released itself, the energy in the room became incredibly powerful. We were enveloped in what seemed like electronic vibrations of an ecstatic force. I felt the power of miracles there. We stayed with the energy for about an hour. Kenneth talked about Jonathan Livingston Seagull. We massaged Judy and played music.
Ted’s body is home in Peru. His energy, his work, his paintings are experiencing new beginnings.
JANET I. CALLE, a member of the FCRP Executive Committee is an interdepartmental management trainer for the New York Telephone Company. She chaired the New York Area FCRP planning group through its first two years.