Through the Mail

I still think women’s groups may be the answer to the future, contributing greatly, but what kind of group is the big question. You see, part of my paradox is that I want women to have the courage to venture ahead, to try new things, to break from the traditionally expected, though perhaps I’m not willing to accept extreme risks in the process. In other words, it may be more helpful to spread what we do know among more women, to prepare them, rather than have the enthusiastic but untrained endanger all by their haste. Wm. James’ The Varieties of Religious Experience, which your group is studying, is a good place to begin, in my estimation. How many women have read it? Women have to catch up, and not be ashamed to begin where they are…practically at the bottom, many of them lost in their own yearnings.

E. S.

 

A small group of us met last winter to explore the possibilities of laymen leading growth groups in various localities. We felt unanimously that lay leaders can be most successful in helping to stimulate people who really desire to grow together. There is an acute need for those who are not sufficiently disturbed or sick for professional aid, but who have potentials, as everyone does, which need to be released and developed. With care in the selection of members, and willingness to learn through experience, lay leaders can contribute a great deal towards unleashing healthy creative possibilities.

It was emphasized that such groups would be oriented toward developing deeper and deeper communication between the members, not toward dealing with psychological problems.

Occasionally a high degree of emotionality occurs in a group, usually at the beginning of its life. To allow the feelings free rein may be healthy, or at times may be harmful. It can be handled by the leader calling for a period of silence. However, often the group will not permit members to free their streams of emotion, and it becomes the leader’s job to encourage them to allow free expression without reassurance or interpretation, as the latter often cuts off the flow of emotion which has started. The lay leader should screen members permitted to join the group, and not accept such as may have psychotic or deeply disturbed tendencies requiring professional treatment.

This study group agreed that one of the prime aims of growth groups is that their members be able to stand naked and defenseless before one another, hiding nothing. However, it is best for masks to fall off naturally, not to be ripped off forcibly by the leader or other members. An atmosphere of trust and acceptance can achieve this, and is a safer method for the lay leader to follow. It is important to let a person experience himself fully without interference, just to allow him to “be.” However, one must learn when it is wise to interfere and offer help.

Many specific suggestions to help the lay leader came up in the discussions. He must not argue or expound or hide behind a screen of book knowledge. He must train himself to pick up the meanings behind the words of the members and not take their statements at face value. He must become sensitive to the voice, eyes, gestures, tensions which reveal the latent content. The whole group will learn to do this in time and develop a communication that is deeper than words. One can use one’s subjective reactions in the process, and this can be very effective if the whole group will react and participate. Such a naive impression is often more to the point than a theoretical approach, and can help a person to realize himself. Introspection along with others can aid in becoming aware, and sensitive to one’s own reactions as well as those of others.  Humor helps the members to let down their defenses.

Among the innumerable topics from which a group can take off, authority, loneliness, guilt were suggested. It is often good to expose the group to different stimuli at different sessions, such as body movements or fairy tales. Sometimes this will produce anxiety, but anxiety often indicates a chance for new growth. A fantasy in which all the members participate, such as imagining what they would each be in a circus, can be fruitful at releasing inner feelings.

After a break for dinner and a period of free creative activity with paints, clay, etc., a most helpful evening session developed spontaneously. The group strayed from the assigned topic and went quite deeply into interpersonal feelings, problems and attitudes, as observed then and there. This open expression of underlying feelings regarding ourselves and one another became perhaps the most important and courageous step we took during that entire day of close group work. An unusually deep sharing of feeling was experienced, demonstrating how fruitful group communication can be.

Beth Bolling